My new blogging idol. This is hilarious.

whiny baby

First and foremost, I hope none of you were feeling particularly young and vital tonight, because I would hate to rain on your optimistic parades.  I’d love for you to keep thinking you have your whole lives ahead of you and that time is nothing but an esoteric construct and that age is nothing but a number.

Unfortunately, I can’t let this go.  LOOK AT BINDI IRWIN, you guys:

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That photo makes me feel like this:

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Secondly, and less importantly, I live my life as a woman in blissful ignorance.  I don’t color my hair or get bimonthly eyebrow waxes or own sexy gym clothes (which makes sense, considering I don’t have a gym membership).  Most of the time, I just simply cannot be bothered.

However, this week, in preparation for OPERATION AUCTION GALA: DEFCON 1, I’ve spent more time and money on my physical appearance than I have in…

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